Tanku: Learning Trust From a Toddler

August 30, 2023 / colleen arnold / 6 Comments Featured

Earlier this month, my grandson was quite sick. He was in the ICU, treated with IV fluids, oxygen machines, suctioning, and frequent breathing treatments. It had to be difficult for him to understand.

With each new torture, he signed, “All done, all done!” willing it to be over. As each torture finished, he clapped his hands, “Yay, yay!” And often, he followed that clapping with his simple word, “Tanku,” aka, thank you.

I’ve reflected on this now that he is home, safe and healthy. Yes, he’s a happy baby with a big heart, but that couldn’t explain all his reactions.

Finally, I realized it was trust. He trusted his parents and me, and therefore also the hospital staff. He had no idea why we were doing things he didn’t like or understand, but he knew we loved him and wouldn’t hurt him.

It reminds me of God’s words in Jeremiah: I know full well the plans I have for you, plans for your welfare and not for your misfortune, plans that will offer you a future filled with hope (29:11, NCB).

We want to trust God because we know he loves us and wants the best for us – but it’s not easy.

We question his wisdom: “God, I have a better idea…”
We second guess his plans: “Are you sure God? This doesn’t seem right to me.”
And we doubt his love: “If you really cared about me, you wouldn’t put me through this.”

We all go through tough times. It’s part of the human experience. But just because we’re struggling doesn’t mean God abandoned us. Just because life gets difficult doesn’t mean God isn’t right here, walking us through it.

So next time I have trouble trusting God’s plans, I will remember my grandson’s example and say, “Tanku, God.”

Just Another Day

August 14, 2023 / colleen arnold / 12 Comments Featured

I enter the tiny exam room where only a month ago, Dick first mentioned a new cough. Now the oxygen cord hangs from his nose and snakes down to the huge tank on the floor beside him. He wears his pink shorts and flowery polo shirt, even though he won’t be going to the golf course today.

He carries a book under his arm, just in case I am behind schedule, and his usually tanned skin hangs from his gaunt face with a deathly pallor. He pushes himself up from the chair and gets short of breath from the exertion. I reach for him as his balance wobbles, and he pulls me into a long, tight hug.

“I don’t have much energy these days,” he says. “Good thing I’ve gotten so forgetful; now I can read the books in my library all over again.” I laugh at his joke, as always. His wife laughs, too, like it’s the first time she’s ever heard this clever comment. They’ve been married for 57 years, and as she twirls the wedding ring on her finger, I sit down between them and begin the conversation I’ve dreaded.

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Have You Seen “The Chosen”?

April 5, 2023 / colleen arnold / 4 Comments Featured

Have you watched the TV series “The Chosen? All three seasons are on Angel Network for free, and the first season is on Netflix. I don’t usually write about books or shows, but I felt compelled to share about this.

(photo “The Chosen” promotional image)

First, the bad news. A lot of it was hard to hear, some of it was hard to see, and some was just so slow I almost fell asleep.

However, once I got past all that, I loved it.

It’s based on the Gospels, but a lot of it is imagined. If you’ve read any of my meditations, you know I love to pray with my imagination. I’ve envisioned Jesus smiling more often than frowning, laughing with his friends, and dancing at weddings. He has his serious moments and his angry ones, and he can see whatever untruths I tell myself, but he understands and is quick to forgive when I am ready to be forgiven. The show portrays him that way, too; it often feels like a prayer.

I also love the way it depicts the apostles. They are prideful, stubborn, annoying, and sometimes downright mean. Peter is bossy and unkind. Matthew hardly knows any of the Old Testament and annoys all the others (but he’s my favorite!). Philip is kind of crazy, and James and John are convinced they’re better than everyone else. What a bunch! A friend said, “I hate that they’re like that,” but I love it! It comforts me to remember that we are all human, and not a single one of us is perfect. Jesus loves us anyway – and chooses us.

These are not the only chosen ones; we all are.

Consider making some time during this Holy Week to check it out. Then come back and let me know what you think!

The Month of Hearts

February 12, 2023 / colleen arnold / Leave a comment

For our family, February brings multiple birthdays, several milestone anniversaries (including Neil’s death in 2015), and of course, Valentine’s Day. But lots of people don’t relish that heart-filled holiday. If you’re grieving someone you love, you probably want to dress in midnight black instead of red. If you aren’t in a romantic relationship, you may want to stay under the covers and ignore the day.

The modern interpretation of Valentine’s Day love is romantic, but it doesn’t have to be. There are multiple kinds of love. Yes, eros, romantic love, is one of them. Neil and I had some awesome February 14ths over the years.

But there is also storge, the familial love between parent and child or siblings. When the girls were home, we always had flowers and valentine’s candy for the whole family.

Philos is the loving affection between close friends. My best friend usually sends me an e-card to remind me she cares.

Agape is unconditional, selfless love – the kind of love God has for us and that we are called to practice in the world. And I really do mean “practice” because we will never be able to love as totally, completely, and perfectly as God does.

So, what if this year, on Valentine’s Day, we practice agape and use our generous spirits to help someone else?

Think of one person who needs extra loving kindness.
Decide something concrete to improve their day. It can be as simple as praying with them or as extensive as offering them a meal or a few hours of your time.
It can be anonymous but not secret – they need to know someone thought of them even if they don’t know who the someone is.

What do you think? Up for the challenge? Take a moment today and come up with your plan; you’ll get as much out of it as they do. And I’d love to hear how it goes!

Happy New Year! (or, Get Out of Dodge!)

January 2, 2023 / colleen arnold / 10 Comments

Although we recognize that plenty of good things happened in 2022, the start of a new year can be melancholy – sadness for the people who are no longer part of our lives, regret over mistakes or missed opportunities, self-criticism for goals left unfinished. It’s easy to let those negative thoughts overpower the good ones until we’ve ruminated into a funk.

But how about if we try something different this year?

How about if we tell those negative voices in our heads to
take a hike,
hit the road,
get lost,
vamoose,
make like a tree and leave,
get out of Dodge,
beat it,
call it a day,
make yourself scarce,
go fly a kite,
make like a banana and split,
buzz off,
take a powder….

You get the idea.

Pay attention to those negative trains of thought and derail them! Tongue in cheek, but no less accurate. You don’t have to be a slave to those critical, disapproving, judgmental voices in your head.

When you catch your brain trash-talking you, turn it off. Literally do something else – recite a positive affirmation, say a prayer for yourself or someone else, do a few jumping jacks or deep knee bends – whatever it takes to get your ruminating brain out of the rut it’s digging.

Because just like our brains can have negative ruts that keep us trapped, with practice, we can build positive ones that are even deeper.

So instead of beating myself up because I didn’t post enough on this blog, I’ll fixate on the articles and posts I got published elsewhere. Instead of regretting goals that didn’t come to fruition, I’ll focus on ones that did.

How about you? Can you reframe those negative thoughts about 2022 into positive ones?

I’ll answer that – yes, you can!