On Being Fickle

It is 92 degrees on this second to last day of September. Thunder rolls in the distance, while heat lightening dances overhead. The air is so humid that the dog and I are sweating and panting after the first few steps of our walk.

Where are the cool, crisp days of autumn?” I lament.

Then I recall how just a few days ago at work I shivered in my white coat despite three layers underneath, and secretly prayed the office air conditioner would break. That day I longed to feel warm.

And in just a few months, when I go out for a walk in the snow, today’s weather will come to mind. I’ll wish for my sweaty T-shirt and shorts instead of my heavy boots and stuffy parka.

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Me and Elton John: Thoughts on the Simple Life

Who would have thought that a noisy, crowded rock concert would remind me of the joys in my simple life?

I climbed into my seat high in the arena last month and waited excitedly with 25,000 other noisy fans for Elton John to perform one of the concerts in his final tour. Suddenly, without fanfare, he appeared at the piano and started to play. His sequined jacket flickered like a million tiny stars every time he moved. The mirror over his keyboard reflected his stubby fingers as they pounded out the melody, and the jumbotron showed a bright pink scarf framing his aged face.

With my eyes open, I was clapping and singing along with everyone else, but with my eyes closed, I was transported back in time. I saw my dad humming Someone Saved my Life Tonight while my siblings and I argued in the back seat of his baby blue Cadillac. I saw myself making a chart of life goals as I sang I’m Still Standing. I saw my husband dancing to Can You Feel the Love Tonight with one of our baby girls wrapped in his arms. Continue reading →

The Marathon Finish Line

Sometimes the small accomplishments mean more than the marathon ones.

Back in the 1980s someone dared my husband to run the Shamrock marathon without any serious training or preparation. Always up for a challenge, he accepted. He didn’t set any great records, but he did finish that race. He even had the runner’s patch to prove it. Now here I was, twenty-five years later, clutching that faded patch in my hands as I searched a new generation of marathon runners for my daughter.

Six months earlier, my husband was diagnosed with cancer. Our daughter, Jacquelyn, signed up to run that year’s Shamrock Marathon in his honor. She joined the Livestrong Cancer Foundation team and raised more money than anyone on her team except for the CEO of the foundation. She was even the featured runner for the marathon’s publicity newsletter.

Sadly, she was now running the race in her Dad’s memory. Although she wasn’t quite as unprepared as he once was, her training schedule fizzled down to an occasional walk in the last weeks of her dad’s life. Continue reading →

Blessing or Bummer?

Do you know people who are always happy? People who seem to flow along unaffected by the trials that must surely be swirling around them? I think I know how they do it. Instead of going through the day counting all the bummers, they choose to see the blessings instead. Recently I had an experience that reminded me  its possible to be content even when your circumstances encourage otherwise.

Years ago, we planted a small copse of pine trees in the U-shaped center of our driveway. We nursed and mulched those baby trees as they grew up right alongside our daughters. Over the years they hosted birds’ nests, ant farms, totem pole faces, scavenger hunts, and came to be called the “tree garden.”

Bummer: I was shocked one morning this spring when I came out the front door to discover that a destructive night wind  felled one of the larger pines. The fragrant giant stretched across my driveway, well into the neighbor’s yard, while shards of the broken stump reached up like fingers from the mulch. The sight was heartbreaking.
Blessing: Despite the length and width of that huge tree, it didn’t hit my car or my house. It landed within a foot of my deck and inches from my car, safely between the two, and nowhere near the front porch of the neighbor’s house toward which it was pointed. Continue reading →

My Fickle Faith

Last week’s wind storms wreaked havoc at my house. Lots of damage, loss of power, and on top of that, a little fender-bender car accident. Today I pick up the pieces, literally. There are downed twigs and large branches all over my yard, not to mention the two fallen ninety-foot-tall pine trees stretched across my driveway.

And even though last week I said, “Thank you, God, that those trees did not hit my house or my car!” today I’m thinking: How do I even start to clean up this mess? Continue reading →