Peace is in This Moment

Photo courtesy of Kathleen Ponento
(Photo courtesy of Kathleen Ponento.)

Have you ever noticed that pain and worry have a way of distracting us from the peace that’s right in front of us?

I was reminded of this recently, as I sat at the kitchen table fretting over a tall stack of worries. Something flickering outside the window caught my attention, and when I stood to investigate, I looked into the tiny face of a hummingbird. He didn’t fly away, but hovered there, watching me as I watched him. And I smiled, appreciating in that moment a simple, joyful peace.

About fifteen years ago, I visited a friend’s farmette and was enthralled by the dozens of colorful hummingbirds flying around his cottage. I set out to welcome these tiny birds to my own yard, planting what the neighbors laughingly called weeds: honeysuckle, trumpet vine, Rose of Sharon, even going so far as to dig them up from the side of the road. Friends gave me feeders that I filled with sugar-water or nectar and hung high enough not to tempt neighborhood cats.

Gradually the hummingbirds did come; so tiny and fast that I often mistook them for insects, and over the years I loved sitting peacefully on the patio with my family and morning coffee, watching the birds zoom in and zip away as they darted around each other almost instantly.

All this came back to me as I stared at that little bird through my kitchen window. He didn’t flinch or fly away but lingered there, in the moment, with me, and I remembered Jesus’s words:

“Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your lifespan? Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself (Matthew 6:26-27, 34).

That stack of future worries was entirely in my imagination, and though some of them might happen, many will not. Yes, tomorrow will take care of itself. It always does.

And peace is here in this moment – in a bird, or a flower, or a hug from someone I love.

Sometimes, that peace races away as fast as a hummingbird, but sometimes, if you pay attention, you can find it staring you right in the face.

Lord, I Don’t Want To Worry, But…

 


Recently a strange and unexpected thing happened in the cemetery. It reminded me once again that worry does not do a bit of good!

I believe that Neil’s ashes belong in holy ground, not on a shelf or scattered, but it took a while for me to decide where that holy spot would be. Only recently, I chose a local cemetery plot, and our priest blessed it and stood with me as Neil was buried. Until I select a permanent tombstone, the grave is adorned with only a simple marker. Even so, it’s a lovely spot: peacefully quiet, shaded by a dogwood tree, and close to other people we knew.  I’ve developed a habit of strolling through the cemetery after church, and it has become a comforting ritual.

On one such evening, I saw from a distance bare earth where I estimated Neil’s grave should be. Hoping it was just the summer sun playing tricks on my eyes, I hurried ahead. Nope, there was the marker, right in the middle of bare, dry earth where last week had been green grass. Continue reading →

My Fickle Faith

Last week’s wind storms wreaked havoc at my house. Lots of damage, loss of power, and on top of that, a little fender-bender car accident. Today I pick up the pieces, literally. There are downed twigs and large branches all over my yard, not to mention the two fallen ninety-foot-tall pine trees stretched across my driveway.

And even though last week I said, “Thank you, God, that those trees did not hit my house or my car!” today I’m thinking: How do I even start to clean up this mess? Continue reading →