Blessing or Bummer?

Do you know people who are always happy? People who seem to flow along unaffected by the trials that must surely be swirling around them? I think I know how they do it. Instead of going through the day counting all the bummers, they choose to see the blessings instead. Recently I had an experience that reminded me  its possible to be content even when your circumstances encourage otherwise.

Years ago, we planted a small copse of pine trees in the U-shaped center of our driveway. We nursed and mulched those baby trees as they grew up right alongside our daughters. Over the years they hosted birds’ nests, ant farms, totem pole faces, scavenger hunts, and came to be called the “tree garden.”

Bummer: I was shocked one morning this spring when I came out the front door to discover that a destructive night wind  felled one of the larger pines. The fragrant giant stretched across my driveway, well into the neighbor’s yard, while shards of the broken stump reached up like fingers from the mulch. The sight was heartbreaking.
Blessing: Despite the length and width of that huge tree, it didn’t hit my car or my house. It landed within a foot of my deck and inches from my car, safely between the two, and nowhere near the front porch of the neighbor’s house toward which it was pointed. Continue reading →

The Cure for Getting Lost and Giving Up

My oldest daughter was in second grade and the others were preschoolers when my sister-in-law and I decided to take our kids to Luray Caverns. We loved the enormous underground chambers filled with towering stone formations. We held our breath anxiously at the few moments of total darkness when the lights were turned off. We threw wishing coins into the crystal clear underground lake, and smiled at the music of the great the Stalacpipe Organ. But the most memorable part of the day, at least for me, came after we left the caverns and the kids talked us into walking through the intriguing Garden Maze outside.

The day was a hot, humid, typical summer Virginia day, and the contrast to the chill of the caverns made the maze a sweaty challenge. The sun was bright and directly overhead, which made squinting a necessity since we were not prepared enough to have sunglasses or hats. The bushes were 8 feet tall and four feet wide, and the maze itself consisted of a half mile of confusing paths. Various fountains and foggy misters helped a little, but the dead ends just seemed to keep coming over and over again. The kids ran from path to path with excitement, while I found myself growing increasingly frustrated and cranky by being lost and hot.
Continue reading →

Living With The Dying

This week, my blog post can be found on the wonderful website, Wisdom of the Wounded at:
https://wisdomofthewounded.com/2018/04/26/living-with-the-dying/
In the article I share suggestions for journeying with someone who is terminally ill, learned not only through my experience as a physician, but also as a wife accompanying her dying husband. I hope you will check out my post and explore the site to find all the other great information available there. There are several excellent podcasts and suggestions inspired my suggestions, including a podcast by the founder’s husband about accompanying his best friend who is dying of lung cancer, and a side bar with straightforward tips about caring for a friend with cancer. Even if you can’t use this information right now, you probably know someone who can, so please share it with them!!

Being a Friend to the Terminally Ill