Category: fear

Dear God….

/ colleen arnold / 2 Comments

Dear God, this is such a scary time, and I need your help…

Please open my heart to care for the people who need me with compassion and gentle patience.

Please open my eyes to the beauty that still surrounds me – the hyacinths in my yard, the cherry blossoms next door, the cardinals splashing in the puddles outside my window.

Please open my hands to serve others with generosity and caring.

Please open my ears to the gentle whispering of your Holy Spirit in my soul, the calm voice of stillness and peace that reminds me you are with us.

Amen.

You’re Right Where You’re Supposed to Be

/ colleen arnold / 6 Comments Featured

Ever wonder if you heard God wrong and you’re supposed to be doing something different? Periodically those thoughts tiptoe uninvited into my brain, and I wrestle with what-if questions, too

Last week I met some very powerful and accomplished women at a conference. Jealousy crept in as I mulled over how old I am, questioned dreams I have yet to fulfill, and wondered about where I am in life. One of those powerful women happened to be with me at the time and my doubts spilled into our small group sharing.

“Maybe you’re exactly where your supposed to be,” she said. “Maybe Satan is trying to discourage you because you’re doing such a good job.” Her comment caught me off guard, and frankly, surprised me. I rarely think about the devil and speak of him even less. I thanked her at the end of our session and headed outside for time to consider her words.

What an interesting theory, I reflected as I meandered onto a nature trail next to the conference center. As usually happens when I am outdoors, my thoughts lightened. The sunshine warmed my perspective and my face; the birds distracted me with their song, and the plants and flowers perked my curiosity. Gradually I felt better and headed back for the next meeting.

As I crossed onto a boardwalk over classic North Carolina swampland, a dozen birds up ahead pranced on the path and squawked loudly. I didn’t pay much attention, until the stick they were fussing over raised its head and hissed. The snake was sill a good fifteen feet ahead of me, but the wooden path was narrow and the swamp below squishy with mud.

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Seven Wise Teachings We Should All Remember

/ colleen arnold / 10 Comments Featured

Tomorrow would have been Neil’s 62nd birthday. It’s nice to think of him today and smile without tears. He wasn’t perfect like me (lol) but he sure did have his good points. He was the most generous person I ever met– he would give away his shirt if someone else needed it – and in fact, on several occasions, did just that. He was level-headed and calm and loved to laugh – even when his jokes weren’t funny. And he had a remarkable wisdom that I didn’t always appreciate at the time. This is an old post, but it seems appropriate to resurrect it:

Neil had a way of teaching me things. Sometimes I learned from him, other times I learned because of him, but in retrospect he was pretty wise. Here are seven of his great life lessons we should all remember.

1. Don’t be afraid. Be reasonable, but don’t be afraid – to try something new, to go somewhere alone, to make a new friend, to do what you want.

2. Be compassionate to everyone – young people, old people, tattooed people, long-haired people, smokers, drinkers, drug users, folks in jail  – because underneath it all they’re just people like us. No one is perfect, and every one of us is human and flawed, yet God loves us all. We should love each other.

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Help! I’m Drowning!

/ colleen arnold / 2 Comments Featured

Although we lived on a lake in my early childhood and I knew how to ice skate, I never learned then how to swim. I loved the water; I just didn’t feel any overwhelming desire to be under it.

Then came third grade swimming lessons at the community pool. I tried to love the lessons, really, I did, but there was nothing fun about being cold and wet. My tense paper-weight-like body refused to float and instead I reliably sank. While the other beginner students jumped in and out with joyful abandon, I gently lowered myself inch by chilly inch into the water. Instead of graceful arms and fluttering feet my strokes looked like a flapping chicken hit the water. So, when the day came for everyone to jump off the diving board, I was not enthusiastic. 

My mom wisely stayed home that day, and my dad came instead. I had no intention of going off the board, but he gradually talked me into it. After watching everyone else have their turn, and noting no near-death experiences, I decided I could at least try. Here is a key detail though: I still couldn’t really swim. Everyone thought that as soon as I jumped into the deep end, weeks of lessons would suddenly click, and I would paddle proudly over to the edge and climb out. That most definitely did not happen.

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Big Jim and the Great Bahama Adventure

/ colleen arnold / 6 Comments

I am a naturally cautious person and not typically enthusiastic about adventures, but one of the best days I ever had was one worthy of a reality TV show. It was winter at home, and while my sister watched our daughters, Neil and I went on our first cruise.

Although I would have been content soaking up the sun from the lido deck and watching the shows in the grand ballroom, Neil wanted to explore Nassau once we docked. The cruise ship offered several tours, and I pointed out the ones I thought would be fun. “No,” he said. “They’re for tourists. I want to see the real place, the real people.”

We piled out of the ship with everyone else, but while they headed off to ask about tour buses, Neil walked down the road to a giant Bahamian man who stood outside a long, white, limousine. “How much for a tour of the real island?” Neil asked him. “The real island? You sure, man?” They haggled over a price for a day that included a traditional show, food and a scenic drive, then shook hands, and Big Jim (yes, that was really his name) ushered us into the back of the limo.

“Isn’t this nice?” Neil asked as we turned on the air conditioning and settled in.
It was nice, for a while. Then we drove off a main road into a poor neighborhood where skinny dogs wandered around sniffing trash, and people watched us from their front porch rockers. When we stopped in front of a run-down, empty appearing grocery store, the limo looked incredibly out of place. Big Jim got out, and Neil rolled down his tinted window. “Where are you going?” Continue reading →