Category: Mourning

Five Years

/ colleen arnold / 8 Comments Featured

Last week marked the five-year anniversary of my husband’s death.

How can that possibly be?

Wasn’t it just yesterday morning he brought me coffee in bed, and yesterday afternoon we argued about dirty dishes in the sink? Wasn’t it last night he gently scratched my head until I fell asleep, and I woke to him snoring beside me?

If you’ve read along with me these past few years, you’ve probably noticed my grief slowly change. I can think of Neil now without my heart feeling like a wet dishrag being squeezed and twisted. I can remember the good times without tears. The rose-colored glasses of memory have slowly returned to clear lenses that show our life together wasn’t perfect.  Even so, not a day goes by when I don’t miss him.  

What’s my advice to the Colleen of five years ago? Here are my thoughts:

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Christmas Mourning

/ colleen arnold / 2 Comments Featured

I clearly remember our last Christmas with Neil. We spent it in the hospital without tree or decorations. Our daughters were there, and we feasted on pizza from a gas station while we snuggled on a bumpy hospital bed enjoying TV Christmas movies. We all knew what was coming, but we put aside the future in favor of the present. It was one of my favorite Christmases. We eat Christmas pizza in Neil’s honor ever since.

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Helping Teens Deal with Grief

/ colleen arnold / Leave a comment

Today’s post is shared on the website Wisdom of the Wounded, and is about helping teens deal with grief. Even if you don’t know a teenager who is mourning a death, you probably know one who is mourning something else: a lost relationship, a divorce, even bad grades. I think you’ll find these tips useful no matter what the loss.

https://wisdomofthewounded.com/2018/09/05/how-to-help-your-teen-cope-with-grief/

There’s also a beautiful graphic you can print out or share:

https://wisdomofthewounded.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/WOTW_Teen_Grief_PDF.pdf

If you have any other suggestions, please let me know. And as always, thanks for reading!

colleen

When Someone is Grieving, Just Show Up and Help

/ colleen arnold / Leave a comment

In case you missed this news, I have a guest blog posted on the website Wisdom of the Wounded.

http://wisdomofthewounded.com/2018/02/27/when-someone-is-grieving-just-show-up-and-help/

I hope you’ll check it out and share with anyone who might need it. It dovetails nicely with my post on what to say when you don’t know what to say:

When Your Heart Wants To Help, But Your Head Has No Idea What To Say

For Good

/ colleen arnold / 12 Comments

This past Sunday was the third anniversary of Neil’s death. I had the fortune to be on vacation for the three days prior, but drove home in the ice and snow and rain of bad winter weather. Thinking that it would be unfortunate for me to have an accident on that particular day, I drove white knuckled for several hours in silent concentration. When I realized the weather had improved but I hadn’t relaxed, I pulled over to regroup.

Refreshed with a new cup of coffee and improved visibility on the road, I treated myself to music on my I-pod. Continue reading →