Category: Perspective

Seven Wise Teachings We Should All Remember

/ colleen arnold / 10 Comments Featured

Tomorrow would have been Neil’s 62nd birthday. It’s nice to think of him today and smile without tears. He wasn’t perfect like me (lol) but he sure did have his good points. He was the most generous person I ever met– he would give away his shirt if someone else needed it – and in fact, on several occasions, did just that. He was level-headed and calm and loved to laugh – even when his jokes weren’t funny. And he had a remarkable wisdom that I didn’t always appreciate at the time. This is an old post, but it seems appropriate to resurrect it:

Neil had a way of teaching me things. Sometimes I learned from him, other times I learned because of him, but in retrospect he was pretty wise. Here are seven of his great life lessons we should all remember.

1. Don’t be afraid. Be reasonable, but don’t be afraid – to try something new, to go somewhere alone, to make a new friend, to do what you want.

2. Be compassionate to everyone – young people, old people, tattooed people, long-haired people, smokers, drinkers, drug users, folks in jail  – because underneath it all they’re just people like us. No one is perfect, and every one of us is human and flawed, yet God loves us all. We should love each other.

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The End of Arguing: That’s an Interesting Perspective

/ colleen arnold / 8 Comments Featured

Over the holidays I witnessed several disagreements. Nothing serious, just typical quarrels, everyone involved determined to prove their point. Alcohol tends to bring out the debater in people, but even many sober people seem to genuinely enjoy arguing.

Some points are facts – medical issues for example, or how to properly take care of wool. Lots more are opinion. Should a certain book belong on the best seller list, or is it there only because of the author’s fame? Should underwear show above a young man’s pants, which are hanging down practically to his knees, or is respectful attire more important than personal freedom? Why does modern music have to include vulgarity?

Certain subjects are important and worth arguing, but many aren’t. And how often do we succeed in convincing someone else to change their opinion, especially on things that don’t really matter in the long run? Not very often – at least not in my case.

I remember one squabble Neil and I had years ago. It was a stupid one, as most of ours were. Frankly, we were only still arguing because we both had an intense need to be right and to have the last word. It went on for a ridiculous amount of time, as neither wanted to concede, even though on some level we both wanted it to end.  

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The Marathon Finish Line

/ colleen arnold / 10 Comments

Sometimes the small accomplishments mean more than the marathon ones.

Back in the 1980s someone dared my husband to run the Shamrock marathon without any serious training or preparation. Always up for a challenge, he accepted. He didn’t set any great records, but he did finish that race. He even had the runner’s patch to prove it. Now here I was, twenty-five years later, clutching that faded patch in my hands as I searched a new generation of marathon runners for my daughter.

Six months earlier, my husband was diagnosed with cancer. Our daughter, Jacquelyn, signed up to run that year’s Shamrock Marathon in his honor. She joined the Livestrong Cancer Foundation team and raised more money than anyone on her team except for the CEO of the foundation. She was even the featured runner for the marathon’s publicity newsletter.

Sadly, she was now running the race in her Dad’s memory. Although she wasn’t quite as unprepared as he once was, her training schedule fizzled down to an occasional walk in the last weeks of her dad’s life. Continue reading →

The Cure for Getting Lost and Giving Up

/ colleen arnold / 7 Comments

My oldest daughter was in second grade and the others were preschoolers when my sister-in-law and I decided to take our kids to Luray Caverns. We loved the enormous underground chambers filled with towering stone formations. We held our breath anxiously at the few moments of total darkness when the lights were turned off. We threw wishing coins into the crystal clear underground lake, and smiled at the music of the great the Stalacpipe Organ. But the most memorable part of the day, at least for me, came after we left the caverns and the kids talked us into walking through the intriguing Garden Maze outside.

The day was a hot, humid, typical summer Virginia day, and the contrast to the chill of the caverns made the maze a sweaty challenge. The sun was bright and directly overhead, which made squinting a necessity since we were not prepared enough to have sunglasses or hats. The bushes were 8 feet tall and four feet wide, and the maze itself consisted of a half mile of confusing paths. Various fountains and foggy misters helped a little, but the dead ends just seemed to keep coming over and over again. The kids ran from path to path with excitement, while I found myself growing increasingly frustrated and cranky by being lost and hot.
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There is No Perfect, But There Can Still be Joy

/ colleen arnold / 2 Comments

You know those incredible moments that crystalize into perfect memories you treasure forever? The ones that make you wish time could stand still and life would never change?

It was a New Year’s Eve long ago. My newborn baby, only three days old, slept peacefully in my arms. My plump, comfy chair was pulled against the French doors leading out to the deck. I could feel the cold draft and my fluffy blanket was wrapped snuggly around us. My toddler sat on the floor cuddling the dog, while her older sister hummed Christmas carols beside us.

Neil’s annual fireworks display was toned down that year, because I didn’t want to take the baby outside. Instead of the street, the fireworks were lined in a row of about twenty on the deck railing. As he hopped gleefully down the row, lighting each one as he went, he dipped and weaved to avoid the sparks and ashes. Then he retraced his steps, knocking the spent ones off the deck, lining up a new row and repeating the whole process. “Pop, pop, pop,” two-year-old Jackie exclaimed cheerfully over and over again, as we watched through the glass doors. Gina oohed and awed with each new display, and my sweet babe slept through it all. Continue reading →