A Common Language

The medical team hiked up the mountain, then cautiously across the narrow ridge. Donkeys carried our supplies, stepping tentatively in the worn path that extended as far as I could see. The sea sparkled in the distance without any hint of the pollution and trash that cluttered it.

The drab brown grey of the barren slopes gradually gave way to scraggly vegetation and tiny houses with drapes for front doors. The scrawny dogs and goats watched us trek by, and an occasional brave Haitian peeked out from the open-air windows.

Eventually a small village came into view in the distance at the crest of the trail. The vegetation increased: lush greens, tropical flowers, bananas, sugar cane, even a few small grapefruit trees. The people increased, too: a few working in their tiny gardens or washing clothes on rocks in puddles. It felt like we had traveled back in time. No running water, no bathrooms, no electricity. When we finally hiked into the center of the village, the sun was sinking in the sky. This was the village of Bon Se Jou.

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Dear God….

Dear God, this is such a scary time, and I need your help…

Please open my heart to care for the people who need me with compassion and gentle patience.

Please open my eyes to the beauty that still surrounds me – the hyacinths in my yard, the cherry blossoms next door, the cardinals splashing in the puddles outside my window.

Please open my hands to serve others with generosity and caring.

Please open my ears to the gentle whispering of your Holy Spirit in my soul, the calm voice of stillness and peace that reminds me you are with us.

Amen.

Five Years

Last week marked the five-year anniversary of my husband’s death.

How can that possibly be?

Wasn’t it just yesterday morning he brought me coffee in bed, and yesterday afternoon we argued about dirty dishes in the sink? Wasn’t it last night he gently scratched my head until I fell asleep, and I woke to him snoring beside me?

If you’ve read along with me these past few years, you’ve probably noticed my grief slowly change. I can think of Neil now without my heart feeling like a wet dishrag being squeezed and twisted. I can remember the good times without tears. The rose-colored glasses of memory have slowly returned to clear lenses that show our life together wasn’t perfect.  Even so, not a day goes by when I don’t miss him.  

What’s my advice to the Colleen of five years ago? Here are my thoughts:

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