Tag: control

The Fainting Doctor: Persistence and Humility

/ colleen arnold / 2 Comments

I started fainting in third grade. At Catholic grade school we attended Mass every day during Lent. I could handle the standing, but far too often the kneeling got the best of me, and I toppled over, sometimes hitting my head on the pew, and sometimes just sliding or plopping onto the floor. The first few times, the dear Sisters were worried, but I never got hurt, so after a while, everyone just left me alone. I’d wake up in a few minutes, sit slowly to get my bearings, then participate in the rest of the Mass service.

As I got older, the fainting spells continued, not only from standing and kneeling but from fatigue and anxiety or even the sight of blood. I learned to recognize the signs of impending unconsciousness and was often able to lower myself to the ground quickly enough to prevent loud crashes. It didn’t always work though, and for a kid who wanted to be a doctor, it presented challenges.  My dad said, “You can do anything you set your mind to.” Continue reading →

The Challenge of Sunday Rest

/ colleen arnold / 6 Comments

Relaxation is not something I do well, but lately I’ve been trying to honor the commandment for Sunday rest. I told my oldest daughter about it and she said sarcastically, “Oh, yes, I’ve heard of that concept, Mom; most people call it a weekend!”

It’s not that I do my doctor job on Sundays – I stopped that a long time ago – it’s that I don’t necessarily rest. Neil used to ask me regularly to sit down and relax, but there was always something that had to be done. Sometimes people ask me now, “How can you have so much to do? You live by yourself most of the time when the girls are at school.” That’s true, but there’s even more to do around the house now that I am the only one doing it!

Armed with the plan to accept Sunday rest as a gift from God, I made a list of all the things I could do to relax. I’ll read all those journals on my bedside table, take a walk, call my mom, write some letters. Then it occurred to me that making a list wasn’t really embracing the spirit of rest. Ok, I thought, no list. No plan whatsoever, I’ll just see what the day brings.
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What Other People Think Only Matters If You Let It

/ colleen arnold / 4 Comments

Neil and I had some rough spots over the years. What marriage doesn’t? We tend to suppress those memories or gloss over them in time with a more favorable lens. Recently, I went to a concert that forced me to confront one of those memories.

Twenty some years ago, Neil and I planned to attend a concert at that particular lovely outdoor venue called Lime Kiln Theater. It’s made up of several different  stages hewn out of ancient quarry rocks and man-made refreshment stands where you can buy  beer or a glass of wine. The gates open early so people can bring picnics and relax under the stars before the show. I didn’t get off work that evening until 8 pm, so Neil suggested I meet him there. He got there at least an hour before me and started “relaxing.” He was very drunk by the time I arrived.

He slept in his seat through the whole first half of the concert. He snored forcefully once or twice, but a quick jab with my elbow took care of that. In the middle of the second set, he woke up and loudly announced that it was time to go. Embarrassed, I quietly shuffled along behind him, hunched over so I didn’t obstruct anyone’s view of the show. We left the audience area and had slowly climbed about half way up the path that leads to the parking lot, when Neil decided to take a nap. Yes, right there in the middle of the pine straw path, he laid down on his side, curled into a little ball with his face on a rock and told me, “Night night.”
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