When Someone is Grieving, Just Show Up and Help

In case you missed this news, I have a guest blog posted on the website Wisdom of the Wounded.

http://wisdomofthewounded.com/2018/02/27/when-someone-is-grieving-just-show-up-and-help/

I hope you’ll check it out and share with anyone who might need it. It dovetails nicely with my post on what to say when you don’t know what to say:

When Your Heart Wants To Help, But Your Head Has No Idea What To Say

The Old Table; Treasure or Trash

I am sitting at the ancient dining room table writing. As happens far too often, my concentration wanes and I look around the room. My gaze lands on the surface of the table and I notice the many scratches and stains that now live there. It has become worn and scarred from its years of use, not just as a place for meals, but as the central focus in my house.

I study the shabby veneer from my seated vantage point and then stand to see the damage more closely. My hands rub the once shiny surface as if I was reading Braille. I find one daughter’s name  scratched into the spot where she so often sat. I feel pits where impatient toddlers once banged their utensils. I see ink stains where frustrated hands accidently pressed straight through their homework papers.  I touch the burn marks made by meals served hurriedly to quiet hungry voices. Continue reading →

For Good

This past Sunday was the third anniversary of Neil’s death. I had the fortune to be on vacation for the three days prior, but drove home in the ice and snow and rain of bad winter weather. Thinking that it would be unfortunate for me to have an accident on that particular day, I drove white knuckled for several hours in silent concentration. When I realized the weather had improved but I hadn’t relaxed, I pulled over to regroup.

Refreshed with a new cup of coffee and improved visibility on the road, I treated myself to music on my I-pod. Continue reading →