Dear God….

/ colleen arnold / 2 Comments

Dear God, this is such a scary time, and I need your help…

Please open my heart to care for the people who need me with compassion and gentle patience.

Please open my eyes to the beauty that still surrounds me – the hyacinths in my yard, the cherry blossoms next door, the cardinals splashing in the puddles outside my window.

Please open my hands to serve others with generosity and caring.

Please open my ears to the gentle whispering of your Holy Spirit in my soul, the calm voice of stillness and peace that reminds me you are with us.

Amen.

Five Years

/ colleen arnold / 8 Comments

Last week marked the five-year anniversary of my husband’s death.

How can that possibly be?

Wasn’t it just yesterday morning he brought me coffee in bed, and yesterday afternoon we argued about dirty dishes in the sink? Wasn’t it last night he gently scratched my head until I fell asleep, and I woke to him snoring beside me?

If you’ve read along with me these past few years, you’ve probably noticed my grief slowly change. I can think of Neil now without my heart feeling like a wet dishrag being squeezed and twisted. I can remember the good times without tears. The rose-colored glasses of memory have slowly returned to clear lenses that show our life together wasn’t perfect.  Even so, not a day goes by when I don’t miss him.  

What’s my advice to the Colleen of five years ago? Here are my thoughts:

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My Word for 2020: Cooperate

/ colleen arnold / 2 Comments

Its that time of year when we balance looking back with looking ahead. We look back at the regrets and mistakes of the past year and vow not to repeat them. We look back at the joys and blessings and try to figure out how to keep them.

We map a New Year filled with all the good and none and of the bad; make our plans and resolutions, all the while declining to acknowledge that we aren’t really in control.

Remember Woody Allen’s saying, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans”?  I don’t envision Him sitting up in heaven blatantly thwarting my dreams for a perfect life. I do see Him smiling and asking, “Why do you insist on going your own way? Why don’t you listen to My voice and let Me help you?”

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