Hi Friends,
Last week one of my essays was featured on a friend’s website while she is out on maternity leave. Check it out at http://www.accordantlife.com/living-generosity/
Enjoy!
Category: Uncategorized
Ode to a Truck
It was time to sell Neil’s truck. I had a minor panic attack thinking about it, but I knew it was time. Neil never cared all that much about possessions, but he sure did love that truck, and letting it go was losing another piece of him.
I remember the day he bought it. It was priced higher than he had planned to spend, but it was in perfect shape, in his favorite color, with more luxuries than any vehicle we had ever owned. He and my mom and I walked around the lot, weighing the pros and cons. He was very impressed with the engine and four-wheel-drive; I couldn’t believe it had heated seats and sunroof. With a deep breath and a fair amount of anxiety, he signed the papers, and drove home like a little kid with a new favorite toy. Continue reading →
Giving My Worries to God
I used to worry myself sick about my children. All those years working in the emergency room left me acutely aware of all the dangers in the world: broken bones, lacerations, concussions, car accidents and all sorts of other harms.
Neil was almost the opposite. He didn’t want our daughters to grow up afraid of anything. He taught them swimming and rock climbing and caving and surfing, and whenever they got hurt he called their wounds a “fun badge.” They came home and told me all about their adventures, proudly showing off their fun badges to prove what they had done. Continue reading →
A Problem with Clutching to Perfection
Have you ever realized too late that you made a mistake? Maybe blamed your son for a broken vase, only to find out later your daughter broke it? Or criticized your coworker for an error, only to learn that it was actually your fault? I thought about this today as I noticed my jacket hanging on the back of the dining room chair. Continue reading →
I am back in control! Oh wait, maybe not………
I was feeling back in control. I had cleaned out closets, washed cabinets, taken a summer’s worth of trash to the dump, and collected three carloads of stuff for my sister-in-law’s yard sale. I hadn’t touched any of Neil’s things yet – his shoes were still right where he left them and his winter coat still hung on the rack – but in-control-me was comforted by those things, not disturbed by them.
I had a schedule all mapped out. This week I would concentrate on getting rid of things I didn’t need. Next week, I would be sure everything in the house was working as it should be and fix or throw away whatever wasn’t. Finally, in the third week I would deep clean everything that was left. I was determined nothing would interfere with the plan. Yes indeed, I was back in control of my world. Continue reading →