Category: Wisdom

Watching Our Words in Lent (Part 6)

/ colleen arnold / 2 Comments

Welcome to Holy Week! This weekend, we celebrate Palm Sunday, and one more week until Easter – still plenty of time to work on choosing our words well.

Part 6: Learn to Leave

Our last idea is to learn when to leave the conversation; sometimes, the best choice is simply to walk away.

Despite what society seems to teach, I don’t need to have the last word.
It’s ok to leave a conversation without getting in that clever jab, that smart retort that will prove how right I am.
I don’t have to convince everyone of my opinion.

In the same way, I don’t have to take offense at each callous comment I hear; not everything is meant to insult me. Often, it’s a lack of awareness on the speaker’s part.

And those people who intentionally upset or offend me often do so just to make themselves feel better. I don’t need to justify myself to them – the only opinion of me that matters is God’s!

There is a time to speak and a time to be silent (Ecclesiastes. 3:7).

Let’s continue using our words to make the world a sweeter place. Next week is Easter- see you then!

-colleen

Excerpts taken from: Arnold, Colleen. “5 Steps toward Better COMMUNICATION.” St. Anthony Messenger, vol. 129, no. 8, 2022, pp. 31-34.

Watching Our Words in Lent (Part 4)

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Welcome back to our Lenten challenge! I hope we’re all making progress, taking a sweet pause before we speak, and assessing the “why” behind our words.

Our next step is to consider how we deliver our comments, not only our words, but our posture, and timing as well. Our remarks should always be gentle and respectful, considerate of others’ feelings. Sometimes our motives are kind, but our word choice is insensitive. Harsh words are rarely productive and generally put others on the defensive. Again, a good question to ask myself is, “How would I feel if someone said this to me? “

A mild answer turns back wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1).

Words are not the only way we communicate; we also use body language and facial expressions.
Am I saying something mean, but delivering it with a false smile?
Am I saying something nice, but revealing my negative thoughts by the look on my face?  Other people can easily read our true feelings. When our words and feelings contradict each other, we will not be trusted, and our words will not be helpful.

Finally, we should consider our timing. For example, I don’t have to share details about my great promotion right after my neighbor loses her job. I don’t need to tell a friend about my daughter’s full scholarship award the day after her son gets his college rejection letter. Yes, people I love will want to celebrate my good news, but it is more considerate to choose the right time to share.

Golden apples in silver settings are words spoken at the proper time (Proverbs 25:11).

Let’s continue working on our words even before we speak them. But this week, let’s also consider our body language, facial expressions, and timing, too. Come back next week, and we’ll add another idea. See you then!

-colleen

Excerpts taken from: Arnold, Colleen. “5 Steps toward Better COMMUNICATION.” St. Anthony Messenger, vol. 129, no. 8, 2022, pp. 31-34.

Watching Our Words in Lent (Part 3)

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Only a month until Easter!
I hope we’re all making progress on sweetening our words and communication.

Week 3: Measure Your Motive

For the past two weeks, we’ve been learning to pause before we speak, allowing the Holy Spirit to help us choose our words well. Our challenge this week is to consider the “why” behind our words after we take our pause. For example:

Am I seeking revenge or retaliation? If so, I do best to hold my tongue.
Am I bragging? The sin of pride is often a subtle one.
If I am giving advice, is it to make myself look better?
Or to make the other person look worse? If so, I should skip the comments.

And even if my response is well-intended, is it wanted? Will my words actually help the situation? Unsolicited advice can often come across as criticism. “The next time you make this dish, you should bake it longer,” sounds a lot like “You didn’t cook this right.” Let’s ask ourselves, “How would I feel if someone said this to me?”

Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory; rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)

Let’s continue working on using our pause to consider our “whys” before a word even leaves our mouths. Come back next week, and we’ll add another idea. See you then!

-colleen

Excerpts taken from: Arnold, Colleen. “5 Steps toward Better COMMUNICATION.” St. Anthony Messenger, vol. 129, no. 8, 2022, pp. 31-34.