This week, my blog post can be found on the wonderful website, Wisdom of the Wounded at:
https://wisdomofthewounded.com/2018/04/26/living-with-the-dying/
In the article I share suggestions for journeying with someone who is terminally ill, learned not only through my experience as a physician, but also as a wife accompanying her dying husband. I hope you will check out my post and explore the site to find all the other great information available there. There are several excellent podcasts and suggestions inspired my suggestions, including a podcast by the founder’s husband about accompanying his best friend who is dying of lung cancer, and a side bar with straightforward tips about caring for a friend with cancer. Even if you can’t use this information right now, you probably know someone who can, so please share it with them!!
Category: Wisdom
The Best Laid Plans
It was a hot, humid 4th of July. I had all sorts of family plans in mind – a walk on the river trail behind our house, a picnic lunch, an evening cookout with relatives, and of course, the annual community fireworks.
As so often happens when we make plans, nothing went the way I envisioned. The kids didn’t want to walk because it was too muggy outside. Neil wasn’t hungry so he didn’t feel like having a picnic. I was missing several key ingredients for the side dish I planned to make for dinner and had to change the menu. Frustrated by my thwarted daytime plans, I determined to make sure the evening went exactly as I intended. Continue reading →
When Someone is Grieving, Just Show Up and Help
In case you missed this news, I have a guest blog posted on the website Wisdom of the Wounded.
http://wisdomofthewounded.com/2018/02/27/when-someone-is-grieving-just-show-up-and-help/
I hope you’ll check it out and share with anyone who might need it. It dovetails nicely with my post on what to say when you don’t know what to say:
When Your Heart Wants To Help, But Your Head Has No Idea What To Say
For Good
This past Sunday was the third anniversary of Neil’s death. 
I had the fortune to be on vacation for the three days prior, but drove home in the ice and snow and rain of bad winter weather. Thinking that it would be unfortunate for me to have an accident on that particular day, I drove white knuckled for several hours in silent concentration. When I realized the weather had improved but I hadn’t relaxed, I pulled over to regroup.
Refreshed with a new cup of coffee and improved visibility on the road, I treated myself to music on my I-pod. Continue reading →
Oh No, It’s Dark in Here!
I was finally at the writers’ conference I had anticipated all year. The first day was full of networking (which I hate) and learning (which I love). It was a long day, and coming on the heels of my trip to Ireland, I was tired. I was relaxing in my hotel room, sipping my nightly glass of wine and chewing Skittles, when the lights flickered and went out.
What’s going on? I thought. It had been incredibly hot that day – over a hundred degrees, with a high chance of thunderstorms. My first thought was a lightning strike, but then I realized it wasn’t storming. Next, the ER doctor in me thought, I wonder if a car accident hit a local transformer – I hope everyone is ok. Finally, the worrier in me thought, Oh no, what if its terrorists, or the end of the world?
I sat on the plump, comfortable hotel bed in pitch darkness, trying to decide what to do and how upset I should be. I didn’t hear any sirens or screams to suggest something serious. The bed was cozy and the wine was the perfect temperature. I could still feel the Skittles in their open bag on the bedside table. The power is probably going to come back on any second, I thought, After a few minutes it was still dark, and I knew I needed to investigate. After all, if it was the end of the world, shouldn’t I call my daughters? Continue reading →