Only five more weeks to go before Easter! Last week, we challenged each other to use this time to “fast” from unkind words and to “give away” kind ones instead, hoping to emerge at the end of Lent with new habits to keep our words sweeter than jellybeans.
Week Two: Learn to Pause, Part 2
We noted the first step in all this is to learn to pause before we speak, allowing the Holy Spirit to help us choose our words well. That pause helps us make better decisions. By reflecting before replying automatically, I avoid saying “yes” when I don’t mean it. I avoid saying “no” to something I would have agreed to with more consideration.
This week, we’ll continue working to perfect that pause. Another advantage is that it helps us recognize conversations we’d rather not be part of. Some people are debaters who love to argue; some are complainers who find fault in everything; others are full of sarcasm or gossip. By holding our tongues, we avoid contributing to those negative words, criticisms, and complaints.
Set a guard, Lord, before my mouth, keep watch over the door of my lips.
(Psalm 141:3)
Finally, perfecting the pause helps us become better listeners. It’s a common practice to interrupt others in conversation: “I know just what you’re talking about! Here’s what happened to me.” And even if we aren’t actually saying it out loud, we are often thinking it, ready to jump in as soon as the other person takes a breath.
Knowing I will pause before I speak allows a different approach. I can listen thoughtfully when someone else is speaking and give them my full attention, which helps me feel more connected and empathetic. I can stop thinking ahead to my response. When they finish their comments, I can pause and carefully choose my words before speaking, fostering trust and respect.
Know this, my dear brothers: everyone should be quick to hear, slow to speak.
(James 1:19)
Let’s continue working on this sweet pause over the upcoming days. Come back next week, and we’ll add another idea. See you then!
-colleen
Excerpts taken from: Arnold, Colleen. “5 Steps toward Better COMMUNICATION.” St. Anthony Messenger, vol. 129, no. 8, 2022, pp. 31-34.