Neil and I did it every summer on our annual visit to the Outer Banks as we sat out on the balcony after the girls went to bed. From our high perch we could hear the ocean and see the stretch of houses that lined the streets of Whalehead Beach. We often sipped on a glass of wine or feasted on a cup of coffee and extravagant dessert, but despite the changing accompaniment, the conversation was consistent. 

Life is peaceful and relaxed at the beach; what can we bring home to make life peaceful and relaxed there, too?

This is how we decided to make our house more open by tearing down the wall between the kitchen and dining room. This is how we came up for a landscape design for a simple swimming pool. This is how I decided I couldn’t work in the ER for my whole life.

Life is too short to spend it doing things that aren’t fulfilling. It’s also too short to let it flow by without paying attention. Since Neil died, we haven’t yet gone back to the Outer Banks as a family, but I’ve still used the time around my birthday to ask myself some questions.

1. Is most of my time spent doing something meaningful and enjoyable?
2. If not, what can I do differently?

Here’s how this looks for me; maybe it will give you some ideas of your own.

Am I stopping regularly to relish the little moments? Am I saying “yes” to things I don’t really want to do, just to be a people-pleaser? Am I writing things I love? Am I balancing patient care with self-care?

If my honest answers point to a problem, what can I do differently?

Can I delegate things that don’t fulfill me and concentrate more on things that do? Can I watch less TV or ignore social media a bit more?

Coming up with even a little change can empower me, but I remember to be flexible, since as most of us have learned, God often has very different plans than we do. Even so, the process is a mindfulness exercise, since it helps me take time to look at my life, instead of letting it fritter away without paying attention.

After all, time is a not a renewable resource.

Dear God, thank you for the blessing of time you have given.
Please help me use mine wisely and joyfully.
Amen