Hello friends! I’ve missed you, and I am so glad you are here!
In the Catholic world, and even for many Protestants, Lent started a few days ago. Typically, Lent involves the opportunity to praise and honor God through fasting, prayer, and giving.
I’ve been thinking about doing something different than giving up candy (though there is nothing wrong with that!). I am going to watch what I say, hoping to be compassionate, kind, and not complain. What if we use this time of Lent to fast from unkind words and give kind ones instead?
Want to join me?
A few years ago, I wrote an article titled “Wield Your Words Well,” originally published in Saint Anthony Messenger Magazine. It was a simple five-step strategy based on wisdom from the Bible to remind us to always use our words with love.
It can be admirable to speak your mind and argue your cause, and sometimes it’s appropriate. I know I’m not alone, though, when I recall occasions when I spouted off quick and clever remarks that, in retrospect, were unkind and uncharitable. Haven’t we all spoken words that made us feel superior and witty at first, but later made us ask ourselves, “Why did I say that?”
And it’s not just those sarcastic remarks that get us in trouble. Our words can take us down paths of gossip and lies, too. Our tongues can be vicious weapons, and in this world of conflict and controversy, it’s even more important that we learn to wield those weapons carefully.
That’s my plan. Each week, I’ll share a new strategy that builds on the previous week’s practice. We’ll emerge at the end of Lent with words sweeter than jellybeans!
Week One: Learn to Pause, Part 1
Sometimes our mouths get ahead of our brains, and we spout off snarky remarks before we catch ourselves. Or worse yet, we don’t even realize what we’ve said until hours later – after the damage has been done. No wonder we read in Proverbs 29:20:
Do you see someone hasty in speech? There is more hope for a fool!
The first step in training our tongues is learning to pause; everything else flows from that. If we stop before we speak, the Holy Spirit can help us choose our words well. Silence isn’t a bad thing, and we don’t have to fill every pause in a conversation with words.
For example, pausing helps us make better decisions. By reflecting before an automatic reply, I avoid saying “yes” when I don’t mean it. I avoid saying “no” about something to which I would have agreed with more consideration.
Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’ Anything more is from the evil one (Matthew 5:37).
Let’s practice this sweet pause over the upcoming days. Come back next week, and we’ll add another idea. See you then!
-Colleen
So glad you are writing and boy is this a timely message for me!!
You and me both, Florence!
Thanks, Colleen. I liked Greg Boyles’ approach: he suggests responding to a request with, “The answer is yes, now tell me what is the question.”
I love Father Boyle’s approach: always compassion, kindness and love – no judgement. Thanks for reminding me, Helen!